Honestly, the utter crappines of this has left me unable to come up with a decent headline. I’ve been hearing about this Tom Waits cover album courtesy of Scarlett Johanson for a couple months, but until now I’ve just disregarded it. That is until Lord Rex posted a link to her website on my favorite forum. So, out of morbid curiosity I checked out a couple of the song snippets, since I am a fan of Tom Waits.

All I could really think of is, “Wow, this really sucks.” I know, real eloquent, but it’s about as much as this project deserves. I mean Tom Waits is… It’s fricken Tom Waits, and you can’t by homage to this man by cutting a sad-bastard indie pop album with some famous Hollywood actress. This is the same guy who refuses to sell his music to advertisers, and even goes so far as to sue companies that try to emulate his style after he turns them down. So, how is a cover album right with the world? The real shame is that the music isn’t horrible, in the way sad-bastard indie music isn’t always horrible, it’s the vocals and the gull it took to make the album the turns me off.

Hmm, oh well. I suppose this album won’t be a hot seller anyway. The only people who will buy it are those high school drama chicks who think that by listening to Scarlett Johanson murder great music they will actually become as famous as her. To further you’re agony you can watch the video to her first *choke* single.

Someone please tell me how sitting around while people put your makeup on for you makes you relevant?